He hadn’t seen her in three years, but he still argued with her in his head.
David wasn’t angry.
At least, that’s what he told himself. But every time someone mentioned her name, he tightened.
When her face popped up on an old photo, he felt the sting in his chest. He’d scroll past, but something lingered.
She had moved on. Built a new life. Probably forgot the things she said.
He hadn’t.
He replayed the fight a hundred times. The betrayal. The silence that followed.
She wasn’t in his life anymore—just in his nervous system.
And that’s when he realized: he wasn’t holding a grudge. The grudge was holding him.
Anger Is a Cage That Looks Like Control
The Buddha said, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
It feels powerful at first. Righteous. Protective.
But in time, resentment becomes a script that won’t stop playing. You carry it into rooms the person who hurt you has never stepped in. You let it shape how you trust, how you speak, how you soften—or don’t.
And often, they’re not even thinking about you.
You’re stuck. They’re free.
What Psychology Says
Studies in clinical psychology show that unresolved anger activates the body’s stress response, increasing cortisol levels, blood pressure, and risk of chronic illness.
Forgiveness, on the other hand—not as a gift to them, but a release for you—is associated with better sleep, lower anxiety, and improved emotional regulation.
You don’t have to excuse what happened. You don’t have to invite them back in.
But you do deserve peace.
David’s Quiet Release
David didn’t call her. He didn’t send a letter.
He just sat one evening with the version of himself that got hurt and said: “I’m not carrying this anymore.”
He breathed out all the things he wished he’d said. Then he whispered something that felt almost strange on his tongue:
“I forgive you. Not for you. For me.”
It wasn’t magic. He didn’t feel instantly healed.
But something loosened.
And that night, for the first time in a long time, her name didn’t hurt.
It just passed through like any other name.
If You’re Tired of the Poison
Stop waiting for justice to bring you peace. Peace doesn’t need their apology.
Write the letter—but don’t send it. Let the pain leave your body.
Remind yourself: forgiveness is not forgetting. It’s remembering without reliving.
Choose what you want to feel next. Don’t let their action dictate your next decade.
Say it out loud: I deserve better than this weight.
Because your freedom doesn’t depend on what they did.
It begins when you decide to stop drinking the poison.