He thought she was ignoring him.
She wasn’t.
He just hadn’t said hello.
Noah watched her from across the café. He’d seen her three times that week—same black coat, same quiet corner seat, same look of distant calm. Each time, he thought she looked right through him.
He convinced himself: She doesn’t like me.
Then: She thinks I’m awkward.
Then: She probably finds me annoying.
Today, he glanced over again and caught her eye. She smiled.
And just like that, the whole story in his head dissolved.
It was never her. It was always him.
The Wind, the Flag, and the Mind
In the famous Zen exchange, two monks watch a flag flapping in the wind.
One says, “The flag is moving.”
The other says, “No, the wind is moving.”
Their teacher says: “Neither the flag nor the wind is moving. Your mind is moving.”
It’s not a dismissal. It’s a mirror.
What we perceive is often a reflection of our inner state—not the world itself. We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.
Psychology Says the Same
Cognitive psychology has a term for this: projection—the tendency to attribute our own thoughts, fears, or judgments to others.
If you believe people are judging you, it may not be because they are. It may be because you’re judging yourself.
The mind moves constantly—narrating, interpreting, filling in blanks with worst-case scenarios. But just because the mind moves doesn’t mean the world is moving with it.
Noah’s Still Moment
After she smiled, Noah exhaled. For the first time all week, he stopped spinning stories in his head.
He stood up, walked over, and simply said, “Hi.”
She looked up from her book and said, “Hi. I was wondering if you’d ever talk to me.”
Nothing had changed.
Except everything had.
How to Let the Mind Settle
- Notice the story you’re telling. Pause. Ask, “Is this real—or just familiar?”
- Return to what’s happening right now. Not what could happen. Not what it means. Just now.
- Drop the need to interpret. Not every silence is rejection. Not every glance is judgment.
- Let the flag flap. Let the wind blow. Watch them. Feel them. But don’t become them.
- When unsure, respond gently. Ask, don’t assume. Speak, don’t spiral.
Because most of the time, life isn’t cold. Or cruel. Or complicated.
Your mind is just moving.